St. Gregory Recovery Center

When first arriving at St. Gregory I had mixed feelings about the health and wellness workouts. I came in at 136 lbs and didn’t think it was possible to reach my goal of weighing 150 lbs. After 6 weeks of working out with the fitness center manager, I now weigh 158 lbs. I have had huge strength gains and built up my endurance like I never have before.

No matter where I start my thought process when reflecting upon my time before, during and after St. Gregory’s, I always seem to end up in the same place in my mind, thinking about how powerful and wonderful individual choice is. Realizing and recognizing not only that we have the power to choose how we want to live our lives, and embracing this incredible gift that’s bestowed upon us as humans is far and away the most important lesson I took away from St. Gregory’s. I think about it every single day, and it’s been the driving force behind which I’ve built a life of purpose, meaning and positivity, one that I am grateful for and proud of. All of this is not to say, however, that all that goes on at St. Gregory’s is philosophical musing about the human capacity for choice—far from it. The nearly two months I spent there was full of hard and emotional work. There was intense introspection in many settings—by myself, one-on-one with counselors, and in groups—spiritual exploration and a great deal of education. Working with residents to help increase understanding of how and why our brains work the way they do is one of the best and most differentiating aspects of St. Gregory’s, I believe. We were all also expected to build and maintain a strong sense of personal responsibility and accountability—showing up to sessions on time and actively participating, keeping private as well as shared spaces tidy and pitching in with chores around the house were not options. That said, while St. Gregory’s is certainly not a vacation or a resort (and I believe that most people there wouldn’t want it to be), it is an incredibly supportive, warm and welcoming community. I personally checked in on Christmas Eve, and in spite of my extremely fragile and distressed condition, was immediately made to feel as much at home and at ease as could be hoped for. On Christmas Day, many members of the tight-knit Adair community stopped in to spread holiday cheer, and in the seven weeks that followed, I learned that wasn’t an unusual occurrence. One particular part of Christmas Day still stands out in my memory—I had a very heavy heart and didn’t even feel like leaving my room, but one of the nurses brought her small children by the house, and the sound of their genuine and heartfelt laughter couldn’t help but lift my spirits a bit. I got out of my pajamas, got dressed, put on a brave face, and let the childrens’ uninhibited joy make my own energy more positive.
Now that I think of it, that instance on Christmas Day epitomizes what the overall culture of St. Gregory’s is about: It’s not always easy, but the entire community is there to help lift you up and empower you to recognize the beauty and positivity in life and all that it has to offer. I came away from Adair not in perfect condition (who ever really is, though?), but with the knowledge and tools to help me manage negative influences across the board (including, but not limited to, chemical abuse), truly believe in myself and the value that I have to offer the world, and most importantly, make choices that reflect this self-worth and give rise to my self-envisioned ideal life of purpose, meaning and positivity.

I came to St. Gregory Recovery Center with a certain mind-set I did not think any amount of therapy would change: “community service was pointless and why should I give my precious time away.” When I read then, that I would be required to participate in community service to successfully graduate, I groaned and whined to my husband. I pictured myself picking up trash, getting muddy, and breaking my nails. (Yes, I know that sounds princess-like.) Those images made me pretty sick to my stomach and I was really panicking over them.
So on my third day at the center I was expected to choose a location for my service. I chose playing cards with the elderly because I love playing cards, and honestly, it seemed like it would require the least amount of effort.
When we arrived at the nursing home, I actually found myself anxious in a positive way. As soon as I had seen the nursing home residents’ eyes light up when we walked in, I completely changed my perspective and opened my mind. We gathered around the table drinking ice tea, laughing, and having a great time. I believe I went there for a reason, I left grateful for my youth, and my loved ones. Now I believe that community service isn’t a waste of time and I am getting paid, with something so much more valuable than money. Love.